i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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