Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize