sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize