I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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