We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Randomize
