i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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