If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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