I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
