Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But break dance skills will only take you so far
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
