my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize