The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
