Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
