evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
