Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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