We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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