I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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