We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
