If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize