I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
