Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
