We're like a lot better than the average bears
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
