also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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