If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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