You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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