with your own penis?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
