and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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