She's JV to your varsity
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
