my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Terrible idea I love it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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