have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
