One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
