I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
