Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
