garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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