Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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