I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize