About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
