So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
