i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
