We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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