i don't plan on having that self control this summer
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Two words: nipple clamps
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