Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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