sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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