Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Randomize
