You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
