there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
