Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
