He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Screwed.edu
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
