We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
