Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
