walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
