Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
