If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
