Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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