In the future we'll all be gay
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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