VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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