it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we're making bets on your personal life
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
