Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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