I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
