We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
