ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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