Michael Bay diarrhea
ugly people sure do ruin things
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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