omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
