I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
