if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
