Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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