Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is the high leading the old right now
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
